Cupid’s Literary Connection: Kissing Scene Competition

A special welcome to all CLC visitors participating in the blog hop and competition!

Thanks for visiting my blog and letting me share another part of Brier’s story from The Dreamspeaker’s Diary. I’ve met some great (and talented) people through CLC, and I’m excited to see everyone’s entries…

Excerpt from: THE DREAMSPEAKER’S DIARY (YA)

Note: I’ve already made it to the Judges Round, (Round 1, Entry #2), so I can only win an Honorable Mention. 

Scene Set-up:

Brier can speak her dreams into existence but she’s being hunted by a dream lab and keeps her talent hidden from everyone but Keller, the enigmatic foster child with a guarded past and secrets of his own. They can manipulate their dream environments, but not everything goes according to plan, and they dreamspeak a tent for refuge while they wait to see if their nightmares come to life.

350 Word Entry:

His smile slowly fades. “Because, once I’d gotten you to your front door…I would have tried to kiss you goodnight.” The words seem to hover in the air, filling the spaces between our uneven breaths.

I don’t move–I’m pretty sure I stop breathing. “I would have let you.”

He cups the back of my head and slowly rises up. My eyes close and I feel the warmth of his breath as he leans up to meet my lips with his. This is different from the other kisses we shared; Keller’s touch is almost reverent in its gentleness. A soft sigh escapes my lips, and he catches it with his own as he kisses me again. I clasp him around the neck and lean into his chest as his hands skim down my sides to frame my hips.

A gust of wind rattles the walls of our tent, pulling me back to the reality of our situation. As the nylon ripples around us, I imagine our scents being carried to the beasts hunting us. We are hidden in the darkness, but they don’t rely on sight.

Keller’s gaze meets mine, and I know he’s thinking the same thing. I press my heart against his, hoping in some crazy way he’ll feel the things I can’t find words for. Fear lingers, like the ache of a fresh wound, but I force it back, surrendering to the oblivion of Keller’s touch. With shaking fingers, he frames my face, while his other hand fists in my hair. Our lips meet with shared desperation, and I yield to him—to this moment–like wax to a flame.

There’s a subtle shift of light as my iPhone battery finally gives up the fight–our last link to civilization now well and truly severed. Keller pulls away, and I can hear him breathing hard, the sound exaggerated in the darkness. “Brier, I—“

A howl rents the air.

My eyes fly open and I clutch his arm. “Oh my God, Kell.”

The haze of passion clears from his eyes, but he holds me even tighter than before.

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36 thoughts on “Cupid’s Literary Connection: Kissing Scene Competition

  1. faithandrews says:

    I really like the beginning two sentences. Just those few words to each other speak volumes about how much they want each other. It makes the kiss really sweet! Good luck 🙂

    I am post #42 if you want to take a look 🙂

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thanks, Amy! I appreciate the comments.
      I really enjoyed your entry, too. I think I would really like your story.(Great book title, too, BTW : ) Good luck!!

  2. This is awesome! So glad you’re in the BSD already because you totally deserve it. Your ability to create such a swoon-worthy connection between these characters is masterful. Their “shared desperation” comes right through the screen. I’m soooo envious!

    Great job!

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thank you SO MUCH, Bonnie! Your comments totally made me smile. “Swoon-worthy” and “masterful”–you made my day! ; ) I really appreciate the encouragement and so glad you enjoyed the scene.

  3. I was going to mention the same thing as Amy. That’s my favorite line too. I also like the bit about Keller’s hands “framing her hips”. I thought that was a really good detail. I think the mixed emotions of wanting to be together and being terrified of what is hunting them gives this scene a wonderful edge. I’d definitely keep reading!

    Thanks for sharing your kissing scene!

    -Amber (#41)
    My Kissing Scene

    • jennymoyer says:

      I really appreciate your comments, Amber! I’m glad you felt the scene had that “edge” and you wanted to keep reading. That’s the best compliment! : ) I’m excited to check out your entry. Good luck!!

  4. Love this! The tension between fear and tenderness is so perfect. Favorite line: “I press my heart against his, hoping in some crazy way he’ll feel the things I can’t find words for.”

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thank you so much, Carissa! I really appreciate your comments–glad you felt that pull between fear and tenderness! : ) I wish you much joy in your own publishing journey!

  5. Wow. My favorite part was from the iPhone dying to the end. That twist from desire to fear was gripping. Good luck and congrats on getting to the agent round!

    Larissa (#47)

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thanks so much, Larissa! I enjoyed your scene, too! Your blog is great, also– I will be visiting again. ; ) I wish you much luck in your publishing journey!

  6. Really well done! Some of my favourite literary kisses are the ones that take place in tense/emotional moments like this. Loved the line about yielding like wax to a flame. Great scene! –Saybe (Kissing Scene #23)

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thanks SO MUCH, Saybe! I really appreciate the comments. Good luck in the agent round!! I look forward to “seeing” you again there..*waves*

  7. I love how you’ve balanced what’s going on inside the tent and what’s going on outside here. It lends the kiss a great mix of sweetness and urgency.

    Great job, and good luck! 🙂

    -Caitlin (Kissing Scene # 31)

    • jennymoyer says:

      I really appreciate your comments, Caitlin! I really enjoyed your scene as well. Totally a book I’d like to read ; ) Congrats on making it to the agent round–I look forward to meeting up with you again, then! I wish you TONS of luck on your publishing journey.

  8. I can see why you are already in to the final round! Your writing is READY. Tight pacing, excellent imagery and great word choice…you go girl! I enjoyed reading this and was right there in the tent with them (loved how it rippled!)
    I’ve have one of those “might have” conversations before, and it led to some kisses too – though I didn’t have to worry about any holwing beasts…just my mom and a curfew! 😉
    Best of luck in the final round and thank you so much for sharing!
    Melonie (kiss #29)
    PS – Keller is a sweet name for a hero!

    • jennymoyer says:

      Wow, Melanie. This means a lot! It’s been a looong road to the ‘ol publishing dream and I really appreciate your comments. I really fretted over which scene to choose for this, so thanks for liking my tent choice. ; ) I’m glad you like Keller’s name, too. ❤ I wish you the best of luck!!

  9. Rachel O'Laughlin says:

    Wow, Jenny, I have to echo what everyone else is saying– your writing is READY. I love the danger in the story and the tension it brings to the moment. Also loved the line about her iPhone dying! Awesome detail. Excited that you already made it to the agent round! Good luck, you deserve to be there!

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thank you so much, Rachel! I really appreciate you saying that. Truly, this publishing journey gets discouraging at times, and it really means a lot to hear that kind of affirmation. Now, if I can just find an agent who feels it’s ready, too…; ) Good luck to you as well–I really enjoyed your scene.

  10. Dahlia says:

    Well hello there! *fans face* You definitely get that Honorable Mention from me, and I think I’ll just have to go ahead and slip you that “Get a Room” Award! Good luck in the final contest!

    xoxo,
    Dahlia “The Kissing Expert”

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thank you SO MUCH, Dahlia! That means so much coming from one of the YA Misfits! ; ) WOW…Honorable Mention AND “Get a Room” *dances erratically around laptop* I’m beyond excited, encouraged, and so glad I worked up the courage to put this little scene out there. I really appreciate your comments!!

  11. Virginia Pierce says:

    Hot hot hot!! I adore this line “surrendering to the oblivion of Keller’s touch”…ooooh yeah, so steamy and perfect! I don’t have anything new to add, just that I agree wholeheartedly with my fellow writers, that this scene is super tight, very interesting, and taut with tension. I love scenes like this where the lead characters are on the run and still manage to fit time in for some love. Keller is such an awesome name too! Best of luck in the Agent Round, this is a fantastic entry!!!

    Virginia #7

    • jennymoyer says:

      Thanks, Virginia! I’m so glad you felt the passion between these two and enjoyed the scene. I really appreciate your comments! Good luck to you as well!

  12. Your writing is beautiful. I’d copy in my favorite sentences, but it would make this comment waaaayyy too long.
    My one nit-picky suggestion would be after the paragraph ending “don’t rely on sight”, I felt like there should be a teeny transition into getting romantic again since they were both distracted by fear.
    Overall, a really wonderful job! Good luck in the agent round!
    Laura, Kiss #33, BSD #112

  13. Wow. This is amazing. Beautiful writing. Great tension. Awesome premise. And I LOVED this line: “I press my heart against his, hoping in some crazy way he’ll feel the things I can’t find words for.” I hope I’ll get to read the whole thing some day. 🙂 Great job!

    Good luck in the agent round! 🙂

  14. jennymoyer says:

    Wow, that is so sweet, Abby! I would love for you to read the whole thing (DITTO) Sounds like we should swap MS and be CP’s or beta readers : ) I hope you get some awesome requests from the agent round!

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